{"product_id":"you-biscuit-sniffing-swamp-donkey-t-shirt","title":"You Biscuit‑Sniffing Swamp Donkey T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome insults are clever. Some are brutal. And some sound like they were invented during an argument behind a bait shop at two in the morning. “You Biscuit-Sniffing Swamp Donkey” belongs proudly in that third category. Nobody knows exactly what a biscuit-sniffing swamp donkey is, which is precisely why being called one feels so strangely devastating. It’s ridiculous, oddly specific, completely unnecessary, and somehow carries the energy of an insult your grandfather might have shouted before storming out of a hardware store. The distressed Western-style typography gives the nonsense an almost authoritative presentation, making it look less like a random insult and more like an officially recognized classification.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMade from durable medium-weight cotton with a classic unisex fit, this shirt is built for everyday comfort and long-lasting wear. It features a ribbed crew neck, reinforced shoulder taping, and a tear-away label for an easy, comfortable feel. The distressed off-white and tan typography stands boldly against the black shirt, giving the design a worn vintage character while keeping the wonderfully stupid insult front and center.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy This Shirt Makes a Statement\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNobody knows what it means.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEverybody knows they don’t want to be called one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSometimes the best insult is the one that leaves the other person too confused to respond.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEU representative\u003c\/strong\u003e: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Gildan 5000, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: For adults, Made in Nicaragua\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Do not iron, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mayhem Haus","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67644180431140,"sku":"32611716660961642209","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":67644180529444,"sku":"23511363884258562079","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67644180627748,"sku":"12941776847559950296","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67644180693284,"sku":"13477830260969915004","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67644180758820,"sku":"28813336430900117814","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67644180857124,"sku":"15839668580242249363","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":67644180955428,"sku":"59882445446383395878","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":67644181020964,"sku":"22956219317214250899","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":67644180398372,"sku":"22991658853526419541","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":67644180496676,"sku":"25138952366674050880","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":67644180594980,"sku":"23958124537822124783","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":67644180660516,"sku":"25041582155667639346","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":67644180726052,"sku":"30991354286841709574","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":67644180824356,"sku":"10997566395299854035","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":67644180922660,"sku":"30214219313449924725","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":67644180988196,"sku":"33820194535930716278","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"military Green \/ S","offer_id":67644180463908,"sku":"11417949949509316411","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"military Green \/ M","offer_id":67644180562212,"sku":"33436485912106246377","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"military Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":67644180791588,"sku":"21956377459798514911","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"military Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":67644180889892,"sku":"30239076563803431785","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0909\/6655\/6964\/files\/16289408913073923850_2048.jpg?v=1791410306","url":"https:\/\/mayhemhaus.com\/products\/you-biscuit-sniffing-swamp-donkey-t-shirt","provider":"Mayhem Haus","version":"1.0","type":"link"}