{"product_id":"chronic-masturbators-are-handicapable-t-shirt","title":"Chronic Masturbators Are Handicapable T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"PDq2pG_selectionAnchorContainer\"\u003eSome shirts make a statement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"PDq2pG_selectionAnchorContainer\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis one establishes a standard.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\"Chronic Masturbators Are Handicapable\" takes an intentionally outrageous phrase and turns it into a completely unapologetic piece of humor. It's ridiculous, inappropriate, immature, and that's exactly why it works. The combination of the retro badge-style typography and the unexpected punchline creates a design that's impossible to ignore.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether it's worn at a party, a weekend gathering, a bachelor event, a concert, or simply to see who notices first, this shirt was designed for people who appreciate crude humor and aren't interested in taking themselves too seriously. Expect double takes, uncomfortable laughter, shocked expressions, and plenty of people reading it twice just to make sure they saw it correctly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe distressed circular design gives the artwork a vintage, worn-in appearance that adds personality without overwhelming the message. The clean typography keeps the focus exactly where it belongs while the contrasting colors create a bold look against the black background.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMade from durable medium-weight cotton with a classic unisex fit, this shirt is designed for everyday comfort and long-lasting wear. The ribbed crew neck provides a timeless silhouette, while reinforced shoulder taping helps maintain the shirt's shape through repeated wear. A tear-away label adds extra comfort, making it suitable for casual outings, social events, game nights, festivals, and everyday wear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy This Shirt Makes a Statement\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause sometimes the joke is so ridiculous that it becomes impossible not to laugh.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\"Chronic Masturbators Are Handicapable\" isn't subtle, sophisticated, or politically correct.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's bold, unapologetic, and created for people whose sense of humor probably requires a disclaimer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEU representative\u003c\/strong\u003e: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Gildan 5000, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: For adults, Made in Nicaragua\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Do not iron, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Mayhem Haus","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":56029116137764,"sku":"30387367087653733754","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":56029116203300,"sku":"16948928893808869068","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":56029116268836,"sku":"26379401872113620753","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":56029116334372,"sku":"21208065848253565650","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":56029116399908,"sku":"24776496329561624364","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":56029116465444,"sku":"19718980851210869356","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":56029116530980,"sku":"31757679255148457312","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":56029116596516,"sku":"61503022088799170367","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ S","offer_id":56029116104996,"sku":"16310040243377495831","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ M","offer_id":56029116170532,"sku":"33141140209383269512","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ L","offer_id":56029116236068,"sku":"26722484656915837025","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ XL","offer_id":56029116301604,"sku":"66968484720876769719","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 2XL","offer_id":56029116367140,"sku":"25778648591449242943","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 3XL","offer_id":56029116432676,"sku":"22612710933992267349","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 4XL","offer_id":56029116498212,"sku":"27450544301909989983","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy \/ 5XL","offer_id":56029116563748,"sku":"18108834022553758756","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0909\/6655\/6964\/files\/14472420784465632479_2048.jpg?v=1787014916","url":"https:\/\/mayhemhaus.com\/products\/chronic-masturbators-are-handicapable-t-shirt","provider":"Mayhem Haus","version":"1.0","type":"link"}