{"product_id":"💀-if-you-dont-return-my-tools-t-shirt🔧","title":"If You Don't Return My Tools...T-Shirt","description":"\u003ch3 class=\"text-text-100 mt-2 -mb-1 text-base font-bold\"\u003e👉 Product Description\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eConsider this your official warning. ☠️🔩\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003e\"If You Don't Return My Tools After Borrowing Them… I Will Duct Tape You Naked To A Light Pole During Rush Hour\"\u003c\/strong\u003e tee is the most unapologetically hilarious thing you'll ever put on your body — and every tool owner on the planet will immediately understand the assignment. 😤🛠️\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eFeaturing a \u003cstrong\u003emenacing skull \u0026amp; crossbones graphic\u003c\/strong\u003e sandwiched between bold, \u003cstrong\u003edistressed grunge-style lettering\u003c\/strong\u003e on a striking \u003cstrong\u003eneon lime green background\u003c\/strong\u003e, this shirt is equal parts threat and comedy gold. 💚🖤 It's not just a t-shirt — it's a policy. A boundary. A legally (okay, not legally) binding agreement between you and everyone who's ever \"borrowed\" your drill and returned it two years later with a dead battery. 🔋😡\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003ePerfect for men who love their tools, their garage, their man cave — and for handymen, construction workers, DIY enthusiasts, contractors, woodworkers, and carpenters \u003cspan class=\"inline-flex\" data-state=\"closed\"\u003e\u003ca class=\"group\/tag relative h-[18px] rounded-full inline-flex items-center overflow-hidden -translate-y-px cursor-pointer\" href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Funny-Retired-Tee-Somebody-TShirt\/dp\/B07T3Y7NV6\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"relative transition-colors h-full max-w-[180px] overflow-hidden px-1.5 inline-flex items-center font-small rounded-full border-0.5 border-border-300 bg-bg-200 group-hover\/tag:bg-accent-900 group-hover\/tag:border-accent-100\/60\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"text-nowrap text-text-300 break-all truncate font-normal group-hover\/tag:text-text-200\"\u003eAmazon\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e who've been burned one too many times by light-fingered friends and neighbors. 🏚️👀\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr class=\"border-border-200 border-t-0.5 my-3 mx-1.5\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"text-text-100 mt-2 -mb-1 text-base font-bold\"\u003e✨ Why You'll Love It\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[li_\u0026amp;]:mb-0 [li_\u0026amp;]:mt-1 [li_\u0026amp;]:gap-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003e💚 \u003cstrong\u003eNeon lime green\u003c\/strong\u003e background — bold, bright, and screaming for attention\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003e💀 \u003cstrong\u003eSkull \u0026amp; crossbones graphic\u003c\/strong\u003e — because this is a serious matter (sort of)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003e🖤 \u003cstrong\u003eDistressed bold typography\u003c\/strong\u003e — raw, rugged, and 100% unapologetic\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003e😂 \u003cstrong\u003eAbsolutely hilarious\u003c\/strong\u003e — the most relatable shirt in any tool owner's wardrobe\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003e🔧 \u003cstrong\u003eMade for the trades\u003c\/strong\u003e — mechanics, woodworkers, handymen, contractors, welders \u0026amp; more\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003e🎁 \u003cstrong\u003eThe ultimate gift\u003c\/strong\u003e — Father's Day, birthdays, Christmas, Secret Santa \u0026amp; white elephant\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003e🧵 \u003cstrong\u003ePremium heavyweight ring-spun cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e — soft, durable, and ready for the shop or the street\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003e🇺🇸 \u003cstrong\u003eProudly Made in America\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003cem\u003e(EU customers: printed and fulfilled locally in your region)\u003c\/em\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003e🖨️ \u003cstrong\u003eHigh-res DTG printed\u003c\/strong\u003e — vivid colors that won't crack, fade, or peel wash after wash\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003e📐 \u003cstrong\u003eUnisex sizing XS–5XL\u003c\/strong\u003e — relaxed fit built for every body type\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr class=\"border-border-200 border-t-0.5 my-3 mx-1.5\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"text-text-100 mt-2 -mb-1 text-base font-bold\"\u003e👕 Product Details\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[li_\u0026amp;]:mb-0 [li_\u0026amp;]:mt-1 [li_\u0026amp;]:gap-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003e✅ \u003cstrong\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/strong\u003e 100% Premium Ring-Spun Cotton \u003cem\u003e(heather blends may include polyester)\u003c\/em\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003e✅ \u003cstrong\u003eFit:\u003c\/strong\u003e Classic unisex crew neck — relaxed, comfortable, all-day wearable\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003e✅ \u003cstrong\u003ePrint Method:\u003c\/strong\u003e High-Resolution Direct-to-Garment (DTG) — vibrant \u0026amp; built to last\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003e✅ \u003cstrong\u003eCare Instructions:\u003c\/strong\u003e Machine wash cold, inside out | Tumble dry low | No bleach\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003e✅ \u003cstrong\u003eOrigin:\u003c\/strong\u003e 🇺🇸 Made in the USA \u003cem\u003e(EU orders printed \u0026amp; shipped locally)\u003c\/em\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003e✅ \u003cstrong\u003eSizing:\u003c\/strong\u003e XS | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | 4XL | 5XL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003e✅ \u003cstrong\u003eAvailable styles:\u003c\/strong\u003e Unisex Tee | Women's Cut | Long Sleeve | Hoodie | Sweatshirt | Tank Top\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr class=\"border-border-200 border-t-0.5 my-3 mx-1.5\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 class=\"text-text-100 mt-2 -mb-1 text-base font-bold\"\u003e🎁 Perfect For\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[li_\u0026amp;]:mb-0 [li_\u0026amp;]:mt-1 [li_\u0026amp;]:gap-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003e🔧 Mechanics, auto technicians \u0026amp; car guys who guard their toolbox with their life\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003e🪚 Woodworkers, carpenters, cabinetmakers \u0026amp; DIY hobbyists\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003e🏗️ Construction workers, contractors, electricians \u0026amp; plumbers\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003e🔩 Handymen, welders, fabricators \u0026amp; trade workers of all kinds\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003e🏠 Homeowners with a garage full of tools that \"mysteriously disappear\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003e🎁 Father's Day, Christmas, birthdays, Secret Santa \u0026amp; white elephant gifts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003e😤 Anyone who's ever said \"I want my tools back\" more than twice\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003e😂 Fans of skull graphics, dark humor, and bold sarcastic statement tees\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Mayhem Haus","offers":[{"title":"Safety Green \/ S","offer_id":52663261495588,"sku":"26346255439748775738","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Safety Green \/ M","offer_id":52663261528356,"sku":"30088470218670664453","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Safety Green \/ L","offer_id":52663261561124,"sku":"30351316808766199323","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Safety Green \/ XL","offer_id":52663261593892,"sku":"73277603401794620391","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Safety Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":52663261626660,"sku":"37524735846698059716","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Safety Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":52663261659428,"sku":"92689478990066603643","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Safety Green \/ 4XL","offer_id":52663261692196,"sku":"29290469407115754101","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Safety Green \/ 5XL","offer_id":52663261724964,"sku":"53141829825832995637","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0909\/6655\/6964\/files\/3926320464147881197_v2_2048_custom.jpg?v=1780356509","url":"https:\/\/mayhemhaus.com\/products\/%f0%9f%92%80-if-you-dont-return-my-tools-t-shirt%f0%9f%94%a7","provider":"Mayhem Haus","version":"1.0","type":"link"}